Stay at Home Mommy

So, turns out I'm no longer employed. There's a long story as to why, but it's really not all that funny so I'm gonna avoid it. Let's just say the decision was born of many tears and much soul searching. Yeah, so NOT funny. But, until I'm again gainfully employed I suppose I'm a stay at home mommy. This leads me to 2 points.

1. Being a SAHM (stay at home mommy) is AWESOME! This morning E and I cuddled in bed until the sun was too bright and beckoned us outside for a walk in the park. She nursed while gazing into my eyes and is now blissfully sleeping in her swing. The house is quiet and bright and I'm still lounging in yoga pants and a holey t-shirt.

2. Being a SAHM SUCKS! Holy hell, this is HARD! E and I hid under the covers as long as possible this morning trying to avoid seeing the mountains of dirty clothes and dirty bottles and dirty dishes and dirty diapers screaming to be cleaned. Unfortunately, E's diaper and my bladder finally demanded we leave bed. I tripped over the bouncer, Lola's leash, the swing, a pacifier and a receiving blanket on my way to the bathroom. I sat on the toilet praising myself for managing to avoid dropping the baby while braving that obstacle course when it dawned on me I was holding the baby while on the toilet. That has to be some sort of health code violation.

I thought maybe a little fresh air would perk us up so we headed to the park. Did you know that there are actually other people in the park at 9:30? People who look at you funny when you wear your pajamas to the park. We made it around the lake once before practically running back home -- it was colder than expected. And really windy. Yep, I'm that mom who drags her half-naked baby around the park in inclimate weather.

Trying to salvage what's left of my mommy pride I decided to nurse E to sleep and rock her in my arms. That was until her little icicle fingers and toes touched my bare belly which caused me to shriek, which caused the dog to shriek, which caused the drowsy baby to shriek... and continue shrieking.... still shrieking.... until I gave up, put her in the swing, cranked it up and let her and giraffe sort it out. She stopped crying instantly. I'm telling you, that giraffe has healing powers.
And there she lies. Sleeping peacefully in her swing as I reflect on how much I suck at being a SAHM! Please God let me go back to work soon before she realizes I don't know what I'm doing.